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托福写作用句太平庸得不到高分?提升表达水平要学会改写

托福写作语法表达改写实例分析

选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要，但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下，推荐几种考生们在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则：

1.一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如：

The situation that resulted in my grandfather’s not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm.

从意思上来分析，上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather’s not being able to　study”，而在表达这个概念时，原句用的主语是situation，谓语动词是was，不能强调需要表达的重点概念，可以改为下面这句话：

My grandfather couldn’t study engineering because his father needed help on　the farm.

2.避免频繁使用“there be”结构，例如下面的句子：

There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day.It was hard work for my grandfather.

可以改为：My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day.

更简洁的句式为：

My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily.

3.把从句改为短语或单词。例如：

Dairy cows were raised on the farm， which was located 100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote.

简介的表达方式为：

The dairy farm was located in a remote area， 100 kilometers to the nearest university.

4.仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候，才使用被动语态。例如：

In the fall， not only did the cows have to be milked， but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather’s family.

本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather’s

family”，而使用了被动语态后，仿佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态，相对来说更简洁一些：

In the fall， my grandfather’s family not only milked the cow but also mowed　and stacked the hay.

5.用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语，例如下面这句话：

My grandfather didn’t have time to stand around doing nothing with his　school friends.

Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达，即loiter：My grandfather didn’t have time to loiter with his school friends.

6.有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达，例如：

Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too small to meet　the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university　degree.

两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子：

Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operational expenses，let alone pay for a university degree.

托福写作语料库积累：成功公司的特点

托福写作语料库积累重点搭配:

share some common traits ：有共同点

attracting and hiring the people who：吸引并雇佣X.X样的人

taking care of your customers:伺候好顾客

integrate s/th into：把X.X融入到X.X

be well thought out and well executed：经过深思熟虑然后执行的

poorly crafted business plan ：没有被精细制作的商业计划

is far superior to ：前者比后者高级的

well-crafted business plan ：精细制作的商业计划

sits on the shelf collecting dust：

搁置起来 (比喻形同虚设的政策等)

drives the activities and behaviors of the entire organization：

驱动整个组织的活动和行为

a ship without a rudder：没有舵的船

product strategy :产品策略

employee retention：员工保有率

in a world of continuous change：在不停变换的世界里

implement a culture of continuous learning：实施一个不断学习的文化

is a major contributor to success：X.X是一个成功的重要因素

托福写作语料库积累重要句子：

It simply can't be steered and ends up going around in circles.

无法驾驶并原地打转。

托福写作语料库积累适用的题目：

For any business to be successful, one must spend a lot of money on advertising.

托福写作语料库积累：做个称职的老师

托福写作语料库积累重点搭配:

provide educators-to-be with the tools, mentors, and hands-on experience:给即将成为教育者的人提供工具、导师和实践经验

In fact ： 实际上

an inspiring and informed teacher：一个启发性的、知识渊博的老师

pay close attention to ：密切关注

provide many opportunities for X.X.X：为X.X.X提供更多机会

under the supervision of 　X.X.X　：在X.X.X的监管之下

professionals in medicine, architecture, and law：

在医疗、建筑和法律领域的职业人士

learn through examining case studies, learning best practices：

通过分析案例、学习实务来学习

participating in internships： 参加实习

in the context of ： 在X.X.X的背景下面

educational technologies： 教育科技

professional-development schools：培养职业技能的学校

innovative training programs ：创新的培训项目

providing them with early and adequate support: 给他们提供早的、足够的培训

Mentoring and coaching from veteran colleagues ：来自老员工的指导和培训

create opportunities for X.X.X：为X.X.X提供机会

learn from best practices and analyze and reflect on their teaching：

学习最好的实务、分析并且反思自己的教学

ongoing and regular opportunities ：不间断的、常规的机会

Ongoing professional development keeps teachers up-to-date on new research on how children learn, emerging technology tools for the classroom, new curriculum resources, and more.

持续的职业发展使得教师能够紧跟有关孩子如何学习，教室层面出现的科技手段，新课程资源等新研究的相关信息。

托福写作素材相关题目：

Should all school teachers be required to attend courses every 5 years to update their knowledge?

托福写作语料库积累：合作式学习

托福写作语料库积累重点搭配:

learn the skills of collaborating, managing emotions, and resolving conflicts ：学习合作、控制情绪、解决分歧等技能

is responsible for ：对X.X负责

learning the subject matter ：学习主题;

helping teammates to learn ：帮助同伴学习

develops social and emotional skills ：朋友社交和控制情绪技能

providing a valuable foundation for their lives as workers, family members, and citizens：为将来做员工、家庭成员和市民提供有价值的基础;

manage deadlines and resolve differences ：掌控截止日期和解决分歧

far beyond what an individual student could accomplish：远远超越单个学生所有能成就的;

托福写作万能素材适用题目：

Do youagree or disagree with the following statement: it is more effective forstudents to work in groupsthan by themselves.

Some people think that it is an important part of a child’seducation to go on a field trip (for example, museums) while other people thinka child’s time is better spent learning in a classroom at school. What is youropinion?